9 strategies to overcome hopelessness and regain your inner motivation

A version of this article was originally published on Medium.

The other day I found myself slumped in my chair and breathing shallowly.

I had been searching for a solution to a problem I’ve had for months….and again came up empty-handed. When no clear way forward presented itself, I gave in to the feeling hovering in the background and began to be lured by that old, familiar siren song of hopelessness. Adrift in the waters of despair, I knew what I needed to do to get myself on dry land again.

With the help of the following strategies, I found my motivation, felt my world open up to possibilities, and no longer felt so stuck in despair.

Use what resonates and—if you’re willing to continue to use this silly metaphor with me—build yourself a boat with what works to bring you back home to yourself. And take heart. You are not in this alone.

Be open, be present, be compassionate.

1. Lean into the power of compassion.

Look at yourself with love and acknowledge how you’re really doing. Affirm what you feel, and with tender-hearted understanding, breathe into your current situation. This is not the time to say, “Other people have it so much worse, so I shouldn’t feel x, y, and z.” This is the time to be real with yourself. What you deny tends to stick around until you’ve fully acknowledged it. Yes, everyone’s struggles are real, and some people do have it worse than you. Some people have it better. What’s important now is how this situation is impacting you, and what you’re going to do about it. Breathe into what comes up and be willing to be the most loving friend you could imagine for yourself.

2. Failure as a transformative teacher.

A mentor of mine taught me to look at failure as one of my greatest teachers. Every time a work project isn’t panning out, or a long-held dream has crumbled in the dust, I remember to look for the lessons in my struggles. When things aren’t working out, ask, What can I learn from this? And listen to the answer. I find that when I am willing to see the bigger picture, I can learn from anything that comes my way. Everything that happens is for us, and when we’re willing to learn the lessons in each situation, we become the powerful protagonists of our own lives again.

“Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.”

-Jonas Salk

3. Build something and honor your inner creative spirit.

Get into the flow and change your current state of mind with a passion project. Delving into one of your passions allows you to dip into that wonderful feeling of being alive and is a great way to move through uncertainty and find something to look forward to again. Learn a new skill, commit to a fun goal, or (re)commit to following through on a passion project. Choose something that feeds and nourishes your spirit (ie don’t choose a project that leaves you drained the majority of times you do it). When facing my latest bout of hopelessness, I turned to a new art project. After a few moments of struggle, I felt my doubts melt away and I totally immersed myself in this new world. It felt wonderful and invigorating, like I was building something new for myself. And afterward, I realized that what previously hadn’t been working out for me didn’t feel quite as heavy anymore.

4. Reach out for a fresh perspective.

If you’re bumping your head against the same old proverbial dead-end wall, perhaps it’s time to admit you could use some help. Maybe the current issue you’re facing isn’t as straight-forward as you thought, or things feel incredibly overwhelming to face on your own. Instead of waging a great battle with this problem on your own, consider asking for aid. The people who could help may surprise you. And remember: there’s nothing wrong with you for not figuring this out on your own. We are wired for social collaboration, after all. Most of us are so willing to help others, but struggle to receive it in our hour of need. Receiving help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

5. Have fun for no good reason.

When was the last time you really enjoyed yourself? If you’re stuck or frustrated beyond belief, get the juices flowing again by taking a step back and letting yourself do something just for fun. That problem will still be there, just as you left it — so why not spend some quality time with yourself for a half hour? Take a fun break and see how you feel after. It could give you just the insight you need to get going again. Being productive and powering through isn’t the only way, my friend.

6. Move that body and get present with it.

Moving your body moves energy. Becoming aware of your body in the present moment can move stuck energy and release blockages that are holding you back. Be willing to move your body how it wants to move, feel into it and enjoy. I bet you’ll feel better in a manner of moments. Dance to a favorite song and let go! If you’re not a dance fiend like me, take a walk and get present with all your senses. Breathe deeply and notice the beauty all around you.

7. Shift your focus.

Sometimes things aren’t working out in our lives because they weren’t meant to, or it’s not yet time. We get so focused on holding on to our carefully-laid plans that we forget there may be other ways to get there, or that it may not be the end of the world if this one thing doesn’t work out the way we want it to. Letting go also gives us the freedom to enjoy what we do have now. What we focus on determines our reality (as Liam Neeson once said in Star Wars), so choose to focus on what is working out for you right now. Re-orient yourself toward your Why and get back in touch with what lights you up.

8. Use your intuition to guide you.

For a fun intuitive exercise, take a few moments right now to relax your body and focus on your breath. Breathe deeply for 3 breaths. Move your awareness to your heart, and ask your intuition, What next steps can I take now? Pause and give the answer a little time to come to you, knowing that it will in some way. Your intuition is always there for you. Remember that you are an incredibly creative, resourceful, and intuitive human. Look at everything you’ve gone through in your life and how you’ve always found a way. And when the answer comes to you, be willing to act on it right away. If it feels good in the body, it’s a winner. Don’t worry if your mind immediately conjures up some doubt gremlins to bring you down — focus on your heart, your breath, and trust that you can do this. You are a powerful, resilient being!

9. Remember your greater vision.

What do you hope for? What kind of world do you want to live in? Who do you want to be in that world? Recommit to be the change you wish to see and know that it is possible. What part can you play to bring this positive change into your reality right now? It could be as simple as smiling and sending a wave to a neighbor or as grand as taking steps toward bringing a long-held dream to fruition. As one of my favorite characters once said, “There’s some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.” Don’t give up on your hopes for the future. Your community — and the world at large — needs you and your light now more than ever.